You’ll be attacked by Evil, Punk, Demons, Babes, Ghosts, Tits, Vampires, \M/etal, Grafiks, My Soul, Naked Chicks, Blood, Gore, Horror, Sixties Muscle Cars, Ships, Galaxies, DA MOON, Robots, Books, Magazines, My Cat Sweet Lil’ Chick Bug Face, My Parakeet 13 Blue, Shitload of Toys, Pop & \M/etal Muzak, Mooore Naked Babes, Stuff AND +++++++ of PUNK FUCKING ROCK… Run away while you still can… Or…

Welcøme Tø my H3LL!!!

J’écoute: Ruts-H-Eyes
Je lis: SUMMUM Juin 2013
Je regarde: Real Steel
Je joue à: Starcraft
Bouffe: Truite au four cuite dans une sauce yum et onions
Weather: 8°C

Moon: 9.4% Full

Ouin ben c’est le meilleur film que j’ai vu ces dernières années EVIL DEAD 2013. Pis v’là mon review in english for my US & UK friends.
Si ça vous dérange FUCK YOU!!! 😛

WOAH!!! Man that was totally sick. On a big screen drinking Blood red wine 2 of my friends and I alone in the cinema. Couldn’t be a better time. The movie I’ve been the most waiting for in my whole life was about to start…

And what THE start it was. A girl burned alive. Burn Witch BURN!!! Oh yeah baby.

New people. No Ash. A cool dog. 2 cars. The damn bridge AND THE FUCKING CABIN!!! Liked the old car in the back of it, it’s Ash’s Oldsmobile. 😀
We meet Mia who’s trying to stop Smack to which I identified straight away as I was Junkie for some years and I did my week long painful Cold Turkey years ago. I understood what she was going through. Eric was the one that found the Book Of Dead in the basement so it’s all his fault. And he not only have found it but also unpacked it and even started reading from it. More fault on his back.

Mia’s starting to have a hard time. She gets in her car to leave the place and it happens. She gets raped by the trees which was even more sexy than the first time. It was going slowly this time. Also looked better lubricated. Come back to the Cabin and tells David Please, please you have to get me outta here like in the trailer.

She goes to take a shower, an extremely hot one and starts transforming. From there on EVERYTHING goes mad. Mad and very, very gory. Which satisfied me.

The arm cut off with the electric knife was great. So was the Nailgun shooting. And everything else.

Yeah, a lot is missing from the 1981’s one but I liked how they brought back a lot of stuff from the original. THE CLOCK, oh man, THE CLOCK HAD to be seen. The way they tied the chain on the basement’s door. And more…

And Jane Levy has done an EXCELLENT female Ash too. Without his humour though. In no means a funny one… She holds the movie on her shoulders though and does a very fine job at it lemme tell you. She knows how to work a Chainsaw perfectly. YAY!!!

The only complain I have was the Blood barfing. Exagerated way too much for me.

Alvarez did an amazing job putting up a great visually stunning flick and all that without CGI. Aside the burning girl obviously. Oh wait, it might have happened for real… LOL

So yep, on my all times favorite movies of all times shelve with it’s older brother this one goes.



My favorite shot of the Witch is this one, out in the woods.

Oh yeah, another complain about all this remake is that scene without Slayer – Raining Blood playing.
Motherfuckers. lol

The 2013 Witch was much more scary than 1981’s one in my humble opinion.


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